To the beautiful Daughters of God
Many people write to their younger self expressing what they would have done differently.
But today I would like to write to all the younger women who have significantly impacted my life and other mothers lives with love, joy and tears.
Daughters, I would like to share with you a few life lessons that will help you change your perspective of yourself to see the beautiful, compassionate, strong, capable, valued, independent, and loveable daughters of God that you are. I can see the vulnerability and pain that life and self choices have created for you. I have not always lived by and done everything on this list that's for sure but this is a shortlist of things I learnt through my own inner pain and insecurities. If I could save you one ounce of pain and heartache, my life is worth the laying down.
Learn to love yourself When I was a younger woman I never valued myself; I could not see what others saw in me or what God intended for my life. I struggled with self-acceptance and my own identity; therefore others never valued me either. Embrace who you are wholeheartedly, your imperfections, your flaws, your past pain, your scars and your mortal weaknesses. If the creator of the universe loves you, how loveable are you? This is probably the most crucial lesson, value yourself even when you don't feel like you deserve it. You have always been loved, you are loved and you will always be loved.
Gods plan for your life is always the best plan (one of my hardest lessons) No matter how many plans we put in place, if Gods not in them they will crumble. We must learn to trust God above your own inner struggles and pain.
What you compromise to keep you will surely lose. Every time we are faced with a compromise in life we give a part of our core value away, causing us to doubt our identity and become fragmented. If you ever need to compromise who you are, to keep a relationship, you will end up losing what you were struggling to maintain and in return loose your true identity in the struggle.
You are worth the fight Don't give up on life. You are worth fighting for. So much so that your Father sent Jesus as an act of love to show you what he is willing to do for you. This sacrifice is a guide for other intimate relationships. Always be chosen, because your father has already chosen you and that is your standard.
Pick your battles wisely There are many life battles that you can and will win but be sure to pick them wisely.Are you fighting for something that is not yours to fight for? Many things are worth fighting for and you are at the top of that list. If Jesus fought so hard to give you life and freedom why should we give it away to people who cannot be bothered to put up a fight.
Your happiness does not depend on others Value and acceptance cannot come from others. If we are constantly seeking the approval of man we will always be in debt to their opinions. Your happiness lies within you sometimes you just have to dig a little deeper to find it. If we only listen to what others say about us, we will never take the time to truely know ourselves. The danger of not knowing ourselves is you will be vulnerable to be who others want you to be and you were fearfully and wonderfully made.
Practice healthy emotional boundaries Know where you start and finish. this will require others to respect your boundaries. A woman without boundaries is like an open field waiting to be trampled on. Often we complain about how we are being treated, when we are not prepared to make boundaries (and keep them) of how we should be treated. I have not always been strong in this area and I'm still learning.
You cannot heal/change everyone If you are entering any relationship with the intention to change the other person or yourself to fit in this is not a healthy relationship. You cannot change anyone, not even ourselves without God. This is how we lose our own identity. You will evolve into the person God created, surrounded by others who share the same heart and values. God does the changing as we surrender and grow together.
Don’t let your past shape your future You are of more value than your mistakes or shortcomings. Allow Gods best for your future by forgiving yourself and others. One of the greatest traps is staying in a place of hurt, mistrust and calling that your boundaries. No, these are survival walls that must come down if we are going to receive and give love freely. You were created to belong and be loved, but this will always come with a price of self-honesty.
We are all works in progress have patients Lastly have patience God is not finished yet... Philippians 1:6. Don't give up on YOU; God hasn't, and neither have others who love, care and keep praying for you remember that.